Breast Feeding

So I've made it 11 months breast feeding James. My goal has always been to make it a full year. Let me say that I thought this was going to be an easy journey and boy was I wrong! James has become horrible at just laying still and eating. He constantly tries to stand up and look around. He can tell when I am starting to get mad and he will climb up me and give me kisses and then rest his cheek on my face. I can't be mad at him when he does that to me! But dang it's frustrating that he won't just eat.  I really hope that the next baby I have will be better at nursing, cause I don't think I can handle another one like James.  I don't regret my decision to go a year at all since I know I made the best possible choice for him.

I had heard from tons of people what a joy it is to breast feed, and that there is such a strong bond from doing it.  I have to be honest and say that I don't find it joyful, or think that it made my bond stronger. I compare it to how everyone says that when you are shopping for a wedding dress when you find the right one you have that "feeling", well I didn't get the "feeling" then. I guess I'm just different.  I do love that I can look at James and ask him if he wants to eat and he will get excited and crawl over to me, cause he knows that I supply the food. It makes me happy to be able to provide the best nutrients for him. I have to honestly say that I am looking forward to his birthday because it means I will have reached my goal, and that for the first time in almost 2 years my body will be mine again!!  That is until we decide to have another baby, and then it won't belong to me again for about 2 years. It's all worth it in the end, I know that for a fact! 

Check back after James turns 1 for a whole recap on my nursing journey. I know that I will love having it written down when the next baby comes along and I want to remember that it wasn't all sunshine and roses. It's really a full time job.